It’s my birthday officially in a few minutes. And to be honest, this year it’s making me anxious. As someone who doesn’t like to take things too seriously, I’m gonna be a little serious for a moment and share somethings that I think are important to realize. Many of which have been inspired by discussions with friends and/or family.
I’m going to be turning an age that when I was 8 I thought I’d have a family and kids, and all that jazz by now. I don’t. But here’s the thing, I know I’m no where near ready for that currently. And that’s fine. Don’t set those milestones to “check off” if they don’t feel right. Each story is different. (One of my friends said, “no one has their shit together.” Think about it.)
Success isn’t overnight. Or over many nights even. It can be over many many nights. Of worry, doubt, and defeat. But don’t let it get you down. Take that moment, feel those feelings. But then get back up and kick ass stronger and harder than before. I’m a firm believer in perseverance and attitude.
Spread joy, smiles, and laughs like crazy. It’s free. It’s contagious. And it always returns. Thank you all for supporting me and my YouTube channel, and our Happy Hours together over this past year. It seriously means a great deal to me that you watch them, and look forward to them, comment on them, share them, all of that. I see it. I love it. And I love you. I hope you’re all having a wonderful evening and an incredible Saturday ahead. Enjoy yourselves and your loved ones.
Self-imposed Confines & Lines. I think this is why some people love starting all over with a new blog, or a new account on something-myself included. It’s as if certain things we’ve worked on have started a life of their own. A certain identity. When really, we’re the ones who have breathed life into that work. So really, we can shatter those self-imposed lines and boxes. Greatness comes from outside your comfort zone. Perhaps I’m still restless today. Contemplated starting a “new blog” (only for a split second) so I could rant and personally vent these kind of things into it. But why not on this one? Just cause this one has my usual kind of content doesn’t mean I can’t spice it up with personal journal-like content, right? Then the fear kicks in.
What if this isn’t what people are following me on here for? What if I piss someone off? What if I’m not working within my “niche?” What if I look unfocused? Or “out of brand.” I think it’s a part of our culture.
I think one thing about American culture in this kind of industry (entertainment) is we often choose to see only one side of a person. For instance, Kristen Wiig is a wonderful comedian and talented actor. People see her as funny. So when she was dancing with Maddy for Sia’s Grammy performance people assumed it was some kind of joke, and everyone was waiting for the punchline. Myself included. Then I started to realize, WHY did I assume such a thing? Just cause she’s funny doesn’t mean she can’t express herself through other mediums and ways. Or that she doesn’t have to be funny all of the time.
This is gonna sound so teen angst lmfao. But whatever. It’s my current truth. I think I’m getting that stress before stress happens. I’m literally stressed about what I’m going to be stressed about at work bahaha. I can’t wait to do another video for my YouTube and let loose! 😀 See you soon! ❤ (Also, I love my job. I wouldn’t do something if I didn’t love it. <3) I made some time tonight to call and catch up with a few friends. I have to tell you, it was more alleviating than I imagined it could be. Love you guys! ❤
PS-I put the Greek Goddess of Victory, Nike, as the featured image-because there is no other option but victory. 😀
Stay bright, love,
Do you ever have those days where you’re ready for spontaneous adventure, or something different? That was me today. I’m not sure what sparked it, perhaps a full night’s sleep for once or catching up on sleep. Whatever it is, I was ready to just not be at home.
It’s one of those things, that’s slightly a paradox, but I wanted to go and do something but didn’t want to waste my time or resources doing it. For instance, what if I just hopped a train and took a spontaneous day trip to Chicago? Or drive around for hours with no destination in mind? I went to the gym in hopes that, that would cure my restless spirit, as it was a change of pace. I haven’t been there in too long. 😥
I definitely could talk to a friend through this all or something, just to bounce ideas and thoughts back and forth. But I wouldn’t be sure who to call. So I tried a few, and then didn’t. What do you do when you’re restless?
I think I’m missing my friends. Work has been very busy lately, and I haven’t had much time. I’m grateful that we’re busy, because that means business is good-so I will never complain about that. However, I must admit that I slightly feel like I’m losing some friends from it all. Which, I know it’s hard to be friends with someone who is rarely able to do anything (that’s me btw…) and can’t seem to make plans concrete (also me) or is bad about staying in contact (me again >_<). I just hope all my friends realize I do care about them, and I do miss them. If you even remotely think this applies to you, then it does. I promise. I would love to eventually be able to come and visit, call and catch up, or whatever works. Time is precious, and I need to be better with it. Also student loans blow. Is this part of “growing up” or am I doing it wrong?
I hope this wasn’t too heavy or personal to share, but I needed to get it out of me somehow. Thanks for reading.
Okay, I had no idea what to title this thing. I was going to film two videos today. Then danger struck. And now I will be in bed (or on a couch) cat nestled right next to me, not filming, with a bottle of pepto bismol at the ready.
But since I just cancelled my Happy Hour video this week, and another surprise video for whenever the hell I got it finished; I thought I’d at least blog. Don’t want you to miss me too much! *hair toss*
So as I’m sitting here I’m thinking (don’t fart! don’t fart!) about a few things. And then I lost them. Completely blanked.
This might be an interesting thing to share, and only mildly appropriate. One time I had food poisoning. (I promise, today isn’t that nor is it anywhere NEAR that bad.) It. Was. Terrible. I would not wish it upon my enemies.
I was in Chicago on a day trip (yay trains!) and doing a job shadow at a PR firm with a friend. We went out to lunch and had some really great food, although I must admit-I did question the appearance of those chicken sliders. Shoulda trusted my judgment. But I didn’t want to be rude. (PS-if I ever question the appearance of my food again, next time I will be rude.) the only reason I have it pinpointed on that lunch, is that both of us got food poisoning at the same time. We didn’t have any other meals together. And the odds are pretty low for food poisoning usually, unless you’re cooking in your uncle’s shed. But that’s another story.
I get home from a long day and a long commute. I had a meeting that evening for an organization I ran, and I had to be on time. I got to my apartment. Dropped off one backpack and picked up another. (See dad, I learned some stuff! Pre-packed and all!)
The meeting goes well. Boring enough. And then I’m suddenly hit with a gurgle. I take a bus back to my place and am suddenly wiped out.
The first symptom that hit me was exhaustion. Other than that gurgle. I was supposed to hang out with my then boyfriend at the time. I texted him that I was exhausted and might be sleepy. But come on over. It was sometime before he got there that I ran to the bathroom, white as a ghost (details from my roommate. -thanks Anna!) and let it fly.
I swear to God, I have never in all my life felt so relieved, defeated, exhausted, and ready to give up all at once as I did in that moment. I’m pretty sure I was pushing one hand against the wall and the other on the counter, probably was afraid I’d take off in flight or something. The jet streams were that powerful. Then something changed.
Suddenly I’m hit with the urge to spew chunks. Whether or not it was the fumes from below, or symptoms of the food poisoning, I’ll never know. I think I’d prefer not to. So I’m sitting there thinking to myself, “sweet Jesus. If I make it through this, I’m going to go back to church.” …sorry, I didn’t keep my word on that one. But in my defense, Sunday’s are supposed to be rest days. The bible even says so!…so I’m gonna rest my saved behind in that memory foam bed until it’s ready to wake up. See? resting…just doing the Lord’s work.
So here I am on the toilet, firing from both ends (thank God for trash cans), and someone knocks on the door. It was my boyfriend. I’m pretty sure he deserves a medal or something for putting up with the fumes that were creaking through that door, and I’m also pretty sure that’s why I didn’t get my full security deposit back. Anyways, he calls my mom, and she tells him to get pepto bismol, sprite, and something else I don’t remember. I was clinging on for dear life at the time. Details weren’t important. Just. make. this. stop.
Thankfully, boyfriend and my roommate took good care of me. Because I hardly wanted to clean myself, let alone the bathroom at that time. (Remember the exhaustion?…yeah, I was tempted to just lay down in defeat and snooze it off.) So, thanks you two!
On that note, I’m off to watch some Netflix, and nap away this stomach thing. …you know what…I did have a fiber one bar last night after dinner…
As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve always struggled with perfectionism. Everything has to be thought out and well executed to the point of routine. But I’m learning to let that go and wing some things. It’s messier, and a lot more enjoyable I must admit. Like a wonderful Irish car bomb. (Now I’m drooling.) This afternoon we painted just for the fun of it. I started out with a clean cut plan. But then, dropped it and went with it. Honestly, I like this better than what I had planned. 😀
Anyone else do this kind of stuff?! Do you find it stifles your creativity ever?
Is it alright if I rant for a second?
Okay, now that we’ve got that out-of-the-way, it’s sincerely bugging me that I haven’t put out my weekly videos in a few weeks. It’s seriously something I look forward to doing. I love the planning, improv, editing, and sharing. The whole process. I don’t care if views aren’t stellar. All I care about is making the videos and sharing them with those that are watching. This is another reason it bugs me. There are people who have told me in person (which I REALLY appreciate. Seriously, friends, thank you. ❤ ) they enjoy my videos, and to not live up to the expectations of putting out more each week irks me.
I can’t complain about my situation. I’ve been busy with work. Like, super overtime crazy busy with work. It’s what comes with having a family business. Midnight oil and early mornings. So after all of that is done, I’m honestly quite wiped. Lately I have been a little burnt out. “Lately” as in the past two weeks. Thus why there haven’t been videos. 😦 I did have two days off, today and yesterday, and it’s been nice to just try to relax. Usually I’m really bad at that, as I’ll eventually start working on something. But these past two days, I. did. nothing. Maybe some graphics (the space golf question :P) and some posting on social media. However, that’s part of my fun. I’m also learning it’s important to give yourself that time off and that it can help boost productivity and creativity. YAAASS!
I don’t like to whine or complain, especially without movement towards improving the situations. All I can say is I know that life at work should lighten up soon as the holiday season comes to a wrap, and I’ll have more free time again to do the things I love. The things I get so excited about I lose sleep over. This is how my mom is at work, it’s adorable and hilarious. It also inspires me to pursue my passions, work hard, and keep laughing. 😀
…I also hate excuses. This is so contradictory so I hope you can understand my cognitive dissonance. >_< I also do love working for the family business, just to clarify. I just wish I had three of me, to get more done. 😛
Stay bright! Love you,
MOAR VIDEOS COMING SOON. Thank you for watching, your support, and your patience. ❤
We’ve all heard it a million times; but I think it’s probably more true than some might think. Attitude can influence your mood, ambition, and outcomes. I hate to admit this, but last semester I got the worst grade I’ve ever received in a class. You know why? My attitude sucked. Why was it so hard for me to be more positive in something I needed as a stepping stone to one of my goals? I lost sight of the end prize and let my attitude towards that course plummet with my grade.
Here I am in my last semester of senior year taking a course to fulfill that requirement that I failed to last semester. My attitude shifted into a more positive one for this course, and the positive results are being reaped. Sure I started off pissy and annoyed, but through some effort and help from a friend (tutor!) I’m learning a new language better than before! My grades are doing so much better already in this subject than the previous semester. “You reap what you sow.” So I’m going to plant positive seeds, even in the fields I don’t necessarily want to have to be in. It’s easy to be positive when you’re dealing with things you already love and things you’re passionate about. So let that flow through you and give momentum and encouragement in an upward fashion!
I’ve also heard that that perception is what creates reality. The perceptions we have can be influenced either way by our attitude. If I choose to look at something that intrinsically has no negative or positive value, I get to decide what value it has. Why should I choose for it to be negative? This is definitely applicable to our popular culture, and as of late there seems to be a lot of hate trains going on. People hating on Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, or Justin Bieber; and mainly because that’s what everyone else is doing right? It was suddenly in vogue to call Lady Gaga’s new album “ARTFLOP,” when in reality it wasn’t a “flop.” (Seriously, it’s actually a great album. Check it out if you haven’t already!) Or how “crazy” and “tragic” Miley Cyrus was for taking her clothes off and filming a music video. I mean, did those people listen to the lyrics? It’s about being vulnerable! And I don’t know about you, but for me, being naked and swinging around on a wrecking ball is pretty damn vulnerable. Not only are all of my body parts exposed, naughty bits included, I’m also not as in control of a wrecking ball as I am on my own two feet. Now the new album, the music videos, singles, you name it are not inherently negative. So why add negativity to them? Why spread negativity and hate, when we could spread positivity and love? This gets into one person’s attitude influencing another’s and the spread continues. “Never look down on someone, unless you’re helping them up.”
Every moment is a new chance for you to change your attitude and change your life. ❤
Peace, Love, Unity, Respect;
PS-Remember, you have as many hours in a day as Beyoncé!