Okay, I had no idea what to title this thing. I was going to film two videos today. Then danger struck. And now I will be in bed (or on a couch) cat nestled right next to me, not filming, with a bottle of pepto bismol at the ready.

IMG_2284
my current salvation

But since I just cancelled my Happy Hour video this week, and another surprise video for whenever the hell I got it finished; I thought I’d at least blog. Don’t want you to miss me too much! *hair toss*

So as I’m sitting here I’m thinking (don’t fart! don’t fart!) about a few things. And then I lost them. Completely blanked.

This might be an interesting thing to share, and only mildly appropriate. One time I had food poisoning. (I promise, today isn’t that nor is it anywhere NEAR that bad.) It. Was. Terrible. I would not wish it upon my enemies.

I was in Chicago on a day trip (yay trains!) and doing a job shadow at a PR firm with a friend. We went out to lunch and had some really great food, although I must admit-I did question the appearance of those chicken sliders. Shoulda trusted my judgment. But I didn’t want to be rude. (PS-if I ever question the appearance of my food again, next time I will be rude.) the only reason I have it pinpointed on that lunch, is that both of us got food poisoning at the same time. We didn’t have any other meals together. And the odds are pretty low for food poisoning usually, unless you’re cooking in your uncle’s shed. But that’s another story.

I get home from a long day and a long commute. I had a meeting that evening for an organization I ran, and I had to be on time. I got to my apartment. Dropped off one backpack and picked up another. (See dad, I learned some stuff! Pre-packed and all!)

The meeting goes well. Boring enough. And then I’m suddenly hit with a gurgle. I take a bus back to my place and am suddenly wiped out.

The first symptom that hit me was exhaustion. Other than that gurgle. I was supposed to hang out with my then boyfriend at the time. I texted him that I was exhausted and might be sleepy. But come on over. It was sometime before he got there that I ran to the bathroom, white as a ghost (details from my roommate. -thanks Anna!) and let it fly.

I swear to God, I have never in all my life felt so relieved, defeated, exhausted, and ready to give up all at once as I did in that moment. I’m pretty sure I was pushing one hand against the wall and the other on the counter, probably was afraid I’d take off in flight or something. The jet streams were that powerful. Then something changed.

Suddenly I’m hit with the urge to spew chunks. Whether or not it was the fumes from below, or symptoms of the food poisoning, I’ll never know. I think I’d prefer not to. So I’m sitting there thinking to myself, “sweet Jesus. If I make it through this, I’m going to go back to church.” …sorry, I didn’t keep my word on that one. But in my defense, Sunday’s are supposed to be rest days. The bible even says so!…so I’m gonna rest my saved behind in that memory foam bed until it’s ready to wake up. See? resting…just doing the Lord’s work.

So here I am on the toilet, firing from both ends (thank God for trash cans), and someone knocks on the door. It was my boyfriend. I’m pretty sure he deserves a medal or something for putting up with the fumes that were creaking through that door, and I’m also pretty sure that’s why I didn’t get my full security deposit back. Anyways, he calls my mom, and she tells him to get pepto bismol, sprite, and something else I don’t remember. I was clinging on for dear life at the time. Details weren’t important. Just. make. this. stop.

Thankfully, boyfriend and my roommate took good care of me. Because I hardly wanted to clean myself, let alone the bathroom at that time. (Remember the exhaustion?…yeah, I was tempted to just lay down in defeat and snooze it off.) So, thanks you two!

On that note, I’m off to watch some Netflix, and nap away this stomach thing. …you know what…I did have a fiber one bar last night after dinner…

Cory Scott

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